Surrender your dreams

Late yesterday afternoon I was in my studio feeling like I wanted to play a little.  I pulled out a pile of paper that I had used as a place to experiment different products.  I now use them as an inspirational starting point.  This background is  Dr. Martins Hydrus watercolors. As I was looking at it I saw this face peering thru.  She is a hidden visitor just waiting for me. 

I began to bring her to life then 2 more visitor showed themselves to me.  

The top one looks like a partial face with the eyes closed and the bottom left looks like a little girl. 

I'll be honest... this kind of stuff creeps me out a little, in a good way.

I decided to stop for the night and finish this in the morning.

Well...... my creative muse had other plans.  Needless to say, I couldn't sleep so I got out of bed and finished her in the wee hours of the morning.  I added details, toned down some of the brightness, finished the girl, then incorporated my latest favorite quote from Oprah.

She was DONE.  Now I can go to sleep.

I am grateful for divine guidance because 

when I follow I feel there is more depth to what I am creating.

There...I said it!

I started this blog as a place to share my creative journey.  I know when I first started down this path I was thirsty to learn how others have made their way.  I wanted to know, within my heart,  if they could do it, then so could I.  I wanted to hear the truth.  So I began to read blogs.  If I felt connected to the artist/person I read their blogs faithfully and even devoured their older posts, as well.  I still read them.  It was those posts that gave me courage to take that first step toward following what I call my creative journey.   I wanted to hear about their struggles and how they overcame them,  about their successes so I could celebrate with them.

Brene' Brown says "Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line."  I consider myself to be a private person,  I am not one to tell people of my woes and worries or of being vulnerable.  Therefore, I always appear to be strong.  I have been called Polly Anna many times because I choose to look for a lesson in any given situation, which I believe is actually a good thing.  The truth is I like Polly Anna!!!

I've been questioning myself...
IF I value the stories of  lessons learned by others who have chosen to follow their creative spirits
and
IF I learned from the stories they told about the hurdles they overcame
and
IF I was there to celebrate their successes
and
IF I wanted this blog to be about my creative journey
Then I will become more vulnerable to share not only the highs but the lows, as well, of my creative journey.

Today in meditation (I follow Deepak Chopra and Oprah  21 day meditation) Deepak said "Not knowing what is the next thing that will bring you joy is called The Wisdom of Uncertainty.  Be quiet and receptive inside, open your eyes, and the next thing you see may be a source of magnificent joy."  When I heard those words tears started streaming down my face.  It was those words I needed  to hear.

What a relief it is, because of my Polly-Anna personality, to know that what I am feeling has a title The Wisdom of Uncertainty.  Ever since I lost my job in February and decided I was going to follow my creative path full-time I've had this unspoken, underlying, uncertainty of fear.  There I said it!  I've never said those words out loud because I didn't want to jinx my belief that I am doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing.  Now I have come to understand that keeping them to myself was detrimental to me and my creative journey.  I will continue to show up everyday (in my studio), do the work (creating art), and let the Universe/God take care of the rest.  The difference is that the silent fear no longer has power over me, I spoke it out loud, I called it out!

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support and encouragement.

lucky me

This is a story of how the Universe works.  
I have been wanting to paint on a large canvas.  Yet every time I would consider it I (FEAR) would talk myself out of it.  All my reasons seemed legitimate... how do I begin? - what do I paint? - these are so expensive to not know what I am doing. - I would be wasting my money, so on and son on.  I'm sure you have experienced this negative self talk when you start something new.  Haven't you?  

I have been in the mindset to bust thru resistance ever since I watched an interview, a couple weeks ago, with Steven Pressfield on Super Soul Sunday.  I understand how resistance had held me captive and I am inspired to know that I no longer need to place judgement on myself.  All I have to do is push thru resistance.

Anyway... last night I decided to go to Michael's a purchase a larger canvas.  Much to my surprise one of their Daily Deals was 60% off all canvases.  I am smiling.  Why?  Because I, also, had a coupon on my iPhone that was for 25% off my entire purchase, including sale items.  YES that means I was going to get 85% off my canvas.  I couldn't control myself any longer.  I did the Happy Dance right there in the aisle at Michaels!!!

Needless to say, I walked out of Michaels with 8 large canvases.  I am so frickin' excited to paint on the canvases that I can hardly contain myself.  Stay tuned because I will definitely share with you what I create.

checking in

Thought I better check in with the virtual world.  I've had several people send me private messages wondering where I am since I haven't posted in awhile.  Well... I have many things going on right now.    Some good things/some not so good things.  I'll share one of the good things with you.

I am building my website.  Learning as I go which is both rewarding and frustrating.  I've had several hurdles that set me back,  mentally, which caused procrastination to set in.  Mid August I posted that I was 80% done well I am relieved to announce that I am now 90% done.  See I am progressing.
I have always dreamed about owning a store so I decided the virtual store would be a great way to start.  I will be selling my original artwork, archival prints of my art, little plaques of my art, and custom vintage art.  I will also be introducing "I'm Just A Little Angel..."

I just completed the 21 Meditation with Deepak Chopra and Oprah.  I can't adequately expressed how much I loved it.  I would get up at 5:15am most days to mediate then write in my journal.  What a terrific way to start my day.  I am convinced that meditation is a practice worth adding to my life.

What have you been up to?

let it go

As you guys may know, I have been watching Oprah's Life Class.  These classes have encouraged  me to do some soul searching which, in turn, has inspired me in creating art.   Until I started asking myself "deep" questions I never realized how much stuff (shit) I have been holding onto.  A little bit or alot doesn't matter, it is still stuff that is holding me back. This journey that I am on is about letting my creative spirit out to play, which is also about setting myself free.  I am beginning to pay more attention to things in my life from a whole new perspective.  Sometimes I do not like what I see while I am an observer of my life, yet I know it is only when I am aware that I can shift my thoughts and or actions.  That would be my step #1 with many more to follow.

I want to thank Christina Fajardo, a very talented artist,  for posting about Oprah's Life Class on her facebook page.  I was listening to your encouragement!