Free Spirit

This morning after meditation I had a deep-seated revelation.  I came to understand the value of trusting.  As I look deep within I can see that as a child is when I began not to trust.  I didn't know what is was then or even as I continued to live my life.  Yet, in hindsight, it all makes sense.  I can now start to see where this has played a role in my adult life.  I may look like a pillar  of steel or like I have it all together yet the truth is I don't.  I am just like you.  Sometimes strong, sometimes not so strong.  Sometimes good, sometimes not so good.

I have been asking the Universe/God to open my heart.  I know that it is time to rid myself of this protective shield I have built around me.  With that comes many moments of hearty laughter along with moments of tears.  Hell, I find myself tearing up at commercials on TV.    I have shed many tears while watching The Voice as I see those people achieving their dreams.  In those times when I would cry in public I know that I have felt  awkward, even apologetic.  Now I am see instead of feeling shame I should be utterly grateful.

A couple weeks ago I went to a Speak Easy.  A tent folded card was placed on our chair and there was a word on the inside for us to speak about or pass speaking all together.  Before I even looked inside I had already determined not to say anything because I felt uncomfortable (afraid).   Right before it was my turn I opened my card to see the word TRUST.  The flood gates opened, tears began flooding down my face.  Between sobs I was able to utter out what the word TRUST had meant to me in that moment.  Yes, I was a little embarrassed but I felt I was in a safe place.  I felt even more comforted when the woman next to me gently put her hand on my shoulder and softly said she was the one who cried the week before.

When I was in my forties was a time that could say that I trusting.  I believed in my purpose.  I was challenging myself and doing things I once thought I couldn't.  Stepping outside my comfort zone(s).  OK, admittedly sometimes being forced out.  Challenging myself.  It was a time that I took chances, believing with all my heart that everything was going to be OK.  And you know what... it was OK.  I look now at myself with understanding a renewed conviction.

I AM LEAVING BEHIND WHAT NO LONGER SERVES ME AND REPLACING IT WITH TRUST.

In my dream

After meditation, this morning, I had this incredible urge to write a poem.  Normally I would brush it off saying to myself that I am not a poet.  Instead ... I got a pen and paper and wrote it down.
Peculiar how things can be, isn't it?

In my dream
It felt as it the Universe was speaking to me
When I awoke I thought it would be true
That I would know just what to do
The dream escaped me so it seems
Messages can be tangled within our dreams

I'll let it go
This need to know
Instead I will listen to the whispers within the day
And yield to what they say
For it's thru listening that we learn our way

Telling My Story #3

October 2011

In September 2011, I had just finished the a 5 week e-course,  Flying Lessons, with Kelly Rae Roberts.  I was given knowledge of how to take my passion and  turn it into a business.  I was thrilled!  I became acquainted with other artists from the class pursuing a similar goal.   And now some of those ladies are my closest friends.  My Mom had always said to me, "You become the company that you keep" so I was eager to embrace this opportunity and to create new friendships.

One evening, I sat down and drew this girl, she was my 2nd face to ever draw.  With deep hesitation I posted her on my blog.  I had to push thru to do this because I was fearful of being judged by other artists.

Caught up in the excitement I wasn't aware of the little gremlins working against me in my head.  They slowly picked at my newly acquired confidence causing me to doubt myself and the possibility of my dream ever coming true. After being the hostess at my own pity-party for what seemed like forever,  I went into my studio and painted from my heart.  I now know the term as being "intuitive painting".   This young lady (my first girl to ever paint) appeared with a message so simple, so yet profound.  I had temporarily forgotten that my strength comes from within.  Because I am human it is easy to get off track from time to time.  I decided that I would make it a priority to Be Still.  There is a tremendous amount of pleasure in the silence when you are still.  The integral and monumental first step to my realignment was to become still, really still, and listen to my inner guidance.  I have always believed my creative path was a gift from the Universe/God and hearing the whispers from my soul will be heard when I become still.  

if the shoe fits

We've all heard the saying,

I am feeling the magnitude of that expression and it feels "just right".

Last night was my first group Create Art with Abandon class.  Six wonderful women gathered around my kitchen table to allow me the honor of guiding them to create art without concern for the outcome (abandon).  I'm sitting here at my computer trying to come up with the proper words to express how I am feeling yet the words are just out of my grasp.  It came to me that I am too concerned about the outcome of my story telling so I am going to practice what we learned last night, I am going to write this post with abandon.  Straight from my heart.

I was all set  with the preparation of the class and ready to go, just waiting for my doorbell to ring.  I sat on the couch in a moment of silence to express to the Universe/God how grateful I was for this opportunity.  The more I expressed my gratitude the more I began to feel the depth of what I was grateful for.  In those moments I came to realize how much creating art with abandon mirrors our lives.   We all begin with a blank canvas.  Each layer of paint could represent each experience in our life.  We may not like the color we just added or what happens when we glaze over a painting because it changed the look of our art, just like in life.  We may have bad things happen in life that changes what was before.   In painting, as in life, we can choose not to like what we have and call it quits OR we can take what we have and make it into something we do like.   Sure it may take a couple more tries to get things to the point of acceptance.  When we choose to try something else it can make all the difference in the world.  We are painters, painting our life.  

We began the class with each person writing on their canvas "there  are no mistakes in art".  At first they were hesitant but with a little coaxing and assurance that it wasn't going to affect their art we moved on.  You know what?  There are NO mistakes in life, either.   As we added layer after layer   I started noticing a little bewilderment of what the outcome would be and together we would chant  "there are no mistakes in art".   As the class went on, I must have said the word awesome, it seemed like, a thousand times.  I could see each piece taking form, coming to life, and that really excited me!   When all  the layers were dry and it was  time for marking the piece of art by adding the final touches, excitement was  mounting as they saw their piece being transformed right before their eyes.  My heart was filling with pure joy watching this unfold.   Ah, hell... I'd even say I was as giddy as a kid in a candy store.  There was something special in every piece that seemed to "make the art".  Hands down...everyone left with an awesome (there's that word, again) piece of art.

This class marks the official beginning of my Create Art with Abandon classes.  What a relaxing and fun way to gather with friends or family.  If you are fairly local and want to invite your friends to your house, I have the paints and supplies and I will travel.  My house is readily available, too.  

My website is under construction please email me at teresa@teresacash.com with any questions.

lucky me

This is a story of how the Universe works.  
I have been wanting to paint on a large canvas.  Yet every time I would consider it I (FEAR) would talk myself out of it.  All my reasons seemed legitimate... how do I begin? - what do I paint? - these are so expensive to not know what I am doing. - I would be wasting my money, so on and son on.  I'm sure you have experienced this negative self talk when you start something new.  Haven't you?  

I have been in the mindset to bust thru resistance ever since I watched an interview, a couple weeks ago, with Steven Pressfield on Super Soul Sunday.  I understand how resistance had held me captive and I am inspired to know that I no longer need to place judgement on myself.  All I have to do is push thru resistance.

Anyway... last night I decided to go to Michael's a purchase a larger canvas.  Much to my surprise one of their Daily Deals was 60% off all canvases.  I am smiling.  Why?  Because I, also, had a coupon on my iPhone that was for 25% off my entire purchase, including sale items.  YES that means I was going to get 85% off my canvas.  I couldn't control myself any longer.  I did the Happy Dance right there in the aisle at Michaels!!!

Needless to say, I walked out of Michaels with 8 large canvases.  I am so frickin' excited to paint on the canvases that I can hardly contain myself.  Stay tuned because I will definitely share with you what I create.

it was just a sentence in my journal

A couple weeks ago I took a trip down memory lane, sorta speak, and re-read some pages in my journal.  read the story here  It was good thing to do, I want to admit that a part of me got really pissed off at myself.  Here I had written about some really neat things I wanted to do and they were only sentences in my journal.  That is what pissed me off the most.  After many, many tears and lots of curse words coming out of my mouth like a sailor I made a commitment that I was going to start with one project and bring it to reality.  (For those who know me, you know that when I commit,  I really commit.)  Well....... we all know that when you let the Universe/God know you are serious about something it's amazing how all the pieces start fitting together.  I'm here to tell you that is what's happening with this project.  I am thrilled beyond belief!  I started to write that I was really surprised at how it all seems to be falling into place but  that would not be true.  I know that all I have to do is show up to do the work  and to BELIEVE IT IS ALL POSSIBLE. 

I have to contain myself not to tell you too much, I don't want to spill the beans.  

I have already spoken about it with several people and they, also, think it's a good idea.  I have just begun.  I am filled with anticipation to see how it all unfolds.  When my project is complete, which I am projecting to be around the first of the year, I will revel in telling you how certain people came into my life to help "make this sentence in my journal a reality".   I do want to send a very special THANKS to Larry and Julie - they are playing a pivotol role in the beginning.  You guys are awesome!!!!!

what a wonderful world

I was at work.  When the mail lady, Cyndi, comes in we chit chat about things.  I told her about the art abandonment I did yesterday which led to the conversation about random acts of kindness.  It's nice to chat with her, she has a a  laugh that makes me smile when I hear her.   As always, I walk her outside to her mail truck to get some fresh air.  I looked to the right and saw there was a chair underneath the tree.  The very tree that I often sit under, on a rock that is on the back side of the tree.

I was beyond ecstatic!

I know that it was placed there for me and I know who did it.

Cyndi and I busted out laughing as I tell her about the conversation I had recently had with out landlord, Scott.  He's the one who put the chair there. 

It didn't take much coaxing to get Cyndi take my picture while sitting in the chair under the tree.  Which, by the way, is where I will be eating my lunch today.

I LOVE how the Universe steps in when you put it out there what you want.  I have been wanting things to come into my life that will stir up pure joy.  And I am getting just that!  What you send out you get back tenfold.



I know  Scott will be equally as happy when he sees my thank you note.  What a wonderful world we live in, when we can see the wonder.

I am a very grateful  person right now for my eyes being re-opened to how the little things in life can make a difference.  

It reaffirms what I already know:  "If each of us would find a way to bring a smile to someone's day we could make a difference in this world."

Thank You Universe!

art abandonment

I happened upon a blog this morning.  I'd say it was perfect timing to have found it.  Yesterday I was speaking with a friend about how I wanted to bring back into my life some of the spontaneous, light heartiness I had when I was younger.  She reminded me that it is still there, I just need to use it.  Then I found this blog.  Wasn't looking for it, it just found me.  Thank You, Heather, for letting me speak my desire out loud.  Thank You, Universe, for presenting this wonderful opportunity.  Thank You, Inner Child Teresa, for following through.

The blog is Art Abandonment.  It's about randomly placing pieces of art in public places for other people to discover as gifts.  What a cool concept!  This morning I made something and I had a blast .  When it came time to deliver this piece I was like a little kid.  I was surprised how nervously, giddy I was.

I just returned from abandoning a piece of art. It was soooooo frickin fun! I went to Portillos restaurant and put my piece of art in the toilet area. I was in the stall waiting for everyone to leave the bathroom so I could get a picture. I thought that would be just a little peculiar if they heard me clicking my camera while I was in a stall. People kept coming in so I had to flush several times to cover my camera noise. I was silently laughing hysterically on the inside.

You know the saying that there is more fun in giving than receiving. Well I'd have to agree!

The Ruby Slippers company

I discovered this boutique that recently opened up and will be displaying my art there starting Wednesday.  I had been writing in my journal that I wanted to venture out with my art.  The Universe heard me!! 

Heather the owner, has a neat concept going on. Her house is zoned commercial/residential so she has converted the Garage into her store. I must admit that I was a little envious.  I think the whole concept is so frickin cool!  It's not totally done, right now she has her Garage door opened all the way up and has a pop up tent in the driveway.   She calls it her "pop up store".

 

She is getting considerable traffic from people passing by who are intrigued, like I was. Once they stop by to check it out Heather's personality captivates them. While I was there another enthusiastic woman came by and the 3 of us sounded like a bunch of hens cackling.  We were talking, laughing, and having a good time.  We weren't drinking either.  It was just a "feel good" place.  Thank You Universe.  I am learning to listen to your guidance.
I feel very fortunate to be able to be part of her adventure. Please visit her facebook site and press her LIKE button in support of what she's doing.  https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Ruby-Slippers-Company/229763473753619