Thursday, September 28, 2017

There have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel.

There have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel.  When I've questioned if I was even on the right path.  When I felt like I had nothing to offer creatively.

Deep down I know and I am extremely grateful for this opportunity that I feel God has given to me.   I am a creative Late Bloomer.  I did not know that I could paint or draw until 6 years ago.  It was a cold day in February 2011 that I pondered the thought that there had to be more to life than what I was living.  My life was good, I just felt there had to be more.  I began with  one foot in front of the other.

It is one of the most awesome feelings when I wake up from a night's sleep and intuitively know what I am going to create.  It's the best EVER!  I trust the process and follow.   That's when I'm able to earnestly say, "I have what it takes!"

But...when those negative thoughts creep in, they can/they will/they have thrown me into a tail spin.  It's not fun either to feel so low.  One thing I have learned from experience is it's much easier to "not even go there" with the negative thoughts than it is to try and recover from them.  I have a several plans that seem to work for me.  I acknowledge that negative thoughts are part of the equation and how I handle them is my choice.  They have no power over me, they are just thoughts,  unless I allow them to.  I breathe and let the thought pass me by.

Yet since my fear is about not being creatively worthy I know I have to "get back on the horse" sorta speak.  Here's what I do.

My art table is covered with white craft paper where I scrape the excess paint from my brushes, etc.  This is what it looks like right now.
When I feel the paper is at it's messy capacity and needs to be changed out I roll it up and save it.
Here is one of the many ways I use the rolled up paper.
I take out my art journal. 
I glue sections of the paper onto pages of the journal.
I instantly have the start of an art journal page.  This helps spark creativity.   
A blank page can be daunting at times which can jump start the mind-chatter into motion.
Here are some of my current pages all ready for me.
They almost look like art themselves.  Don't they?

   
Below is a journal page that started out as scrap paper from my art table. All I did was add flowers by making acrylic skins.  I painted stems and leaves.  I added shadows with charcoal.
Rest assured I averted the negative mind chatter on this day.

Thanks for sharing my journey with me.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Sisters

Eleven days ago I watched a video  Why People Commission Portraits by Gwenn Seemel
(take a moment  watch her video) 
One of the reasons it struck a cord with me is because I am a portraiture artist.  
In the video she speaks about many different reasons someone may commission a portrait.  
The one main reason someone would commission is portrait is "making special".  
You make something special when you make it into art.
A painted portrait has a hand made quality about it that a photograph lacks.

I looked up from my computer to see a photo of my sisters and I from 2007.
This was a special moment for us so I decided to make it 
even more special by making it a piece of art.
I finished it today!
Here it is!

The actual photo was captured in 2007.
When we were together we would go into laughing fits, sometimes for no reason. 
Just acting silly.  One would laugh then the others would follow suit.
During this time when we were having our photo taken Judy decided to pinch Linda's butt. 
Linda burst out laughing.
That is all it took to create a chain reaction of antics that continued for a while.

When I close my eye and  become still I can recall the laughter from that moment time.

"Making Special"
that is exactly what I did by painting this portrait.

Thank You, Gwenn!

Monday, September 11, 2017

Making Special

After I was finished with my morning rituals, I go into my studio and  the first thing I saw was Gwenn Seemel's video , "Why people commission portraits".  I loved it so much that I watched it several times.  My heart began to melt at the 11 second mark when she began to talk about the number one reason above all others why people commission art was making special.  I swear her face lit up!  You can tell she creates art from her soul.

Here's the video.  Please take a moment to watch it.  It's relevant to the rest of my story.

One of the things I normally do when I start my studio day is begin doing something, anything.  This morning it was varnishing several pieces I had done earlier and putting Polymer medium on canvas panels.  Then I go to my computer to check emails.  Above my computer monitor is a photo that was taken at Christmas time 2007 of me and my sisters.  It's been hanging in the same place for a very long time.


The two sisters in the middle were laughing so hard because one sister  (Judy) was pinching the other sister (Linda) in the butt.   I seemed like whenever we would all get together we would laugh, sometimes uncontrollably,  at the weirdest stuff.  This was one of those moments.   When I think of my sisters, I want this to be my memory...
laughing at the stupid stuff.
Needless to say, it's 10 years later and things are not the same.  Judy is no longer with us and Bonnie is confined to a wheelchair.

Thru my tears, I feel an incredible pull at my heart to create a piece of art of me and my sisters.  So I followed my heart.



"Making Special"
Here's the rough sketch.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Metamorphosis-the process of transformation

In my stillness,  I was reflecting back on my creative journey. Where I was vs. where I am and where I want to be.  It occurred to me that on this creative journey I am, repeatedly, going thru a metamorphosis (the process of transformation) similar to a butterfly.
Hence... the inspiration for this painting.
Butterfly Abounds
20" x 20" 3/4" deep canvas
charcoal-acrylic paint-PanPastels
  • It was merely 6 years ago that I began this creative journey, not knowing which direction to go yet I was determined to put one foot in front of the other and trust the path would appear.
  • After a while I began to shed negative thought patterns of "not being good enough" as I continued making art.  This negative pattern never really disappears, it just fades away.  I am tenacious enough not to let it keep me down.  Thinking of the ebbs and flows in life helps me in those not so bright times when self-doubt has me in it's grip.  You know the saying... "this too shall pass".
  • I will often take some time to center myself...I get brave enough to step out of my comfort zone(s) again and put myself and my art out there for possible rejections.  When I step  up/out with faith and belief in myself of why I am on this journey those rejections become stepping stones to help me learn and grow.  And you know what else happens?..... I  END OF GETTING LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK.
  • At this stage... I am changing things up a bit.  I am taking more risks.  I am ready to FLY!
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Thank You for all of your support and encouragement.
I will continue to do this because of YOU!


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