Thursday, September 28, 2017

There have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel.

There have been times when I wanted to throw in the towel.  When I've questioned if I was even on the right path.  When I felt like I had nothing to offer creatively.

Deep down I know and I am extremely grateful for this opportunity that I feel God has given to me.   I am a creative Late Bloomer.  I did not know that I could paint or draw until 6 years ago.  It was a cold day in February 2011 that I pondered the thought that there had to be more to life than what I was living.  My life was good, I just felt there had to be more.  I began with  one foot in front of the other.

It is one of the most awesome feelings when I wake up from a night's sleep and intuitively know what I am going to create.  It's the best EVER!  I trust the process and follow.   That's when I'm able to earnestly say, "I have what it takes!"

But...when those negative thoughts creep in, they can/they will/they have thrown me into a tail spin.  It's not fun either to feel so low.  One thing I have learned from experience is it's much easier to "not even go there" with the negative thoughts than it is to try and recover from them.  I have a several plans that seem to work for me.  I acknowledge that negative thoughts are part of the equation and how I handle them is my choice.  They have no power over me, they are just thoughts,  unless I allow them to.  I breathe and let the thought pass me by.

Yet since my fear is about not being creatively worthy I know I have to "get back on the horse" sorta speak.  Here's what I do.

My art table is covered with white craft paper where I scrape the excess paint from my brushes, etc.  This is what it looks like right now.
When I feel the paper is at it's messy capacity and needs to be changed out I roll it up and save it.
Here is one of the many ways I use the rolled up paper.
I take out my art journal. 
I glue sections of the paper onto pages of the journal.
I instantly have the start of an art journal page.  This helps spark creativity.   
A blank page can be daunting at times which can jump start the mind-chatter into motion.
Here are some of my current pages all ready for me.
They almost look like art themselves.  Don't they?

Below is a journal page that started out as scrap paper from my art table. All I did was add flowers by making acrylic skins.  I painted stems and leaves.  I added shadows with charcoal.
Rest assured I averted the negative mind chatter on this day.

Thanks for sharing my journey with me.


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